I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
