I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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