Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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