I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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