I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
