Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
