The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize