i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize