he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
