i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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