I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
