I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
