Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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