guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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