I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
