Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
