pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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