So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize