Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.

(516): View more from New York

You wear Armani Exchange.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.

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(512): View more from Texas

Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party

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(602): View more from Arizona

i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments

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(647): View more from Ontario

He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?

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(316): View more from Kansas

Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?

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