She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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