Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
