Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
