I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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