She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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