The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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