I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Watching her eat just hurts me
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
