I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
