Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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