i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
