I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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