You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
