there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
3pm strippers are depressing
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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