I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
