Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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