So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
