the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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