I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
