you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
