My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
