I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
