You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
