I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
