help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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