I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
