I murdered the dance floor call the cops
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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