She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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