Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
