I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize