she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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