Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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