I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
