I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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