I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
