so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
