Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
