I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
