Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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