he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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