its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
