it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
