Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
