walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
