I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
