Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
