Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
