...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
