I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Randomize
